Entry tags:
hmd
If you can, specific examples are helpful, both of things I've done wrong and right. Please mention anything that feels off to you, but there are a couple specific things I may need to work out.
He uses more than one type of English slang so hopefully that won't sound too unnatural, but some Americanisms may sneak in there. Bartimaeus' world isn't the same as ours but I think most of its history is meant to be similar, so if any of his historical references feel weird that's also a possible issue. Most of my history knowledge comes from wikipedia, so this will probably happen. And there's his voice too, of course - his characterization, as well as any issues with my attempt to translate the feel of his narration from first person to third. And anything else. Don't be shy, I do want to improve so feedback is valuable.
He uses more than one type of English slang so hopefully that won't sound too unnatural, but some Americanisms may sneak in there. Bartimaeus' world isn't the same as ours but I think most of its history is meant to be similar, so if any of his historical references feel weird that's also a possible issue. Most of my history knowledge comes from wikipedia, so this will probably happen. And there's his voice too, of course - his characterization, as well as any issues with my attempt to translate the feel of his narration from first person to third. And anything else. Don't be shy, I do want to improve so feedback is valuable.